My Journey to Atheism (A story of an Ex Muslim)…
(Please note that I will not reveal my name for safety purpose).
I was born in a middle-class Pakistani family, and thus I was brought up in a very religiously (Sunni Muslim) strict manner. As the eldest son, my mother paid a lot of attention to me. She used to tell me about the stories and Miracles of Prophet Mohammed and Qu’ran, she told me that I was very lucky to have been born into a Muslim family. I was happy knowing that Allah cared so much about me and that I will go to heaven when I die. As a curios child, I once asked my mother that “What was Allah doing before he made the universe? I mean he is always there and has no beginning, right?” to which my mother replied “Don’t even think about stuff like that ever again”. I was fine with that. If I do exactly what the Qu’ran and Prophet Mohammed said I was going to get rewarded with Heaven and who wouldn’t want that?
And since everybody in my family considered me a genius they had a lot of expectations from me and so I was sent to a local Primary school at the age of 4. At age 12 (after I was done with 8th Grade), I was sent to a Madrrasah to memorize Qu’ran.
Those unfortunately were the worst days of my life. At first I was very excited about this, because I was told that If I memorize Qu’ran, Prophet Mohammed will personally welcome me to heaven (if that makes any sense?). First few days were good, but for some unknown reason the Qari (Imam or w/e you want to call him) hated me. After a couple of weeks he started beating (well not just me other students as well) me no reason at all and each day it got worse, I convinced myself to believe that he was probably doing this so I don’t make any mistakes (which I rarely ever made) because if I do, Allah will send me to Hell. One day I was sick but was I was not allowed to be absent from Madrassah so I went there anyway, but couldn’t memorize the work I was given. When it was my turn to recite the Qu’ran, I told the Imam that I didn’t memorize it and apologized. He didn’t say anything, instead he picked up the water hose and lashed me around 20-25 with it( I was begging that sadistic monster to stop, but he didn’t), then he smashed my head the desk (which caused two of my teeth to break). When I went home that day and told my parents about it, they said “Well, you must have done something wrong, you are not supposed make mistakes when it comes to Qu’ran. We’ll still talk to Imam-Sahib tomorrow”. That was it. I was infuriated, I mean how could an All-Merciful Allah allows such severe punishment of such small mistakes (not even a mistake since I admitted that I didn’t memorize the work and even apologized)? That was when I started to have doubts about Islam. The next day I told my parents that I don’t want to go to Madrassah and I wanted to continue my studies. Of course, my parents protested a lot but I had already made up my mind and so they had no choice but to accept my decision (though they didn’t talk to me for a whole month after that). I started High School and became a good Muslim again, I met a guy in school (he was an Ahmadiya. I was told that I should never talk to him) and we became good friend. It was when the suicide bombing started in Pakistan and my friend died in one of them. What was worse that my parents actually supported the “Jihadits” although they did condemned the bombing in their own Muslim countries. They said that these Jihadits should wipe out America. I was left speechless, I mean how could my parents even think of such inhuman thing? And how could any religion even allow anything like this?
That was when I started critically analyzing Islam, I spent my entire free time reading various Islamic books and Tafseer of Qu’ran (I didn’t have internet or even a PC for that matter, so I used to spend all my time reading various books). And guess what? Rather than clearing my doubts that I previously had, it made things worse. I begged Allah to show me the true path, and a tiny sign so I could believe him. But nothing happened (useless God I know).
I was mess those days my grades started to drop to point where I actually failed in two subjects, so to fix all f this I decided to never think about it ever again and started my studies again. 2 years ago I finally got a Laptop and an internet connection (through the money I got from scholarship and tuition’s). Life became normal once again, although the “religion-thought” did hit me from time to time.
6 months ago, I saw this anti-Islamic post on Facebook and I got angry at the guys who were posting hateful comments towards Mohammed, I told them that they were sick fucks and will eventually rot in hell to which one of them replied “If you’re telling me that I will go to hell for asking logical question, then I’m fine with that”. I told him to read Qu’ran to get his answers as it was the perfect book and he replied “I’m sure you’ve already read it, are you certain that it’s perfect?” and I froze. I immediately logged out of Facebook (and haven’t used it since that day) opened YouTube (Using a proxy server of course. You’ll be surprised to hear that it’s still blocked) and started watching Muslim owns Christians/Hindus/Atheist (funny, right?), Zakir Naik destroys Atheism (I’m still surprised by the fact that I actually used to like this guy) and Christian converts to Islam videos. Of course, I was desperate and I would believe anything that could justify Islam and Qur’anic Miracles. One day I was surfing YouTube and accidentally (best accidental mistake of my life) opened a video of Richard Dawkins and that was when everything changed. And after that I started watching Sam Harris/Hitch/Dennet/Richard Carrie/Krauss/Shelly Kagan and other intellectual Titans. I felt much better and felt more intelligent than ever so I kept doing research for the next 3-4 months. So, last month I finally got rid of Islam for good. I can’t describe how good I felt doing when I left Islam, I’ve never once in my life felt so free, so alive and much happier. I felt like I had gotten rid of some huge burden off my shoulder.
Of course I didn’t tell anyone, because you know I didn’t wanted to die, especially when there is no Afterlife.
But around 15 days ago my aunt and my cousin came to visit us, he told me that he wanted to use Facebook, so I gave him my Laptop and went to by stuff for them. I don’t know why but he actually searched my history (I think he wanted to check whether I watch any porn or not?). Unfortunately, my history was full of “Anti-Religion” content, he showed this to my mom and went to tell everybody about it. I already knew what was gonna happen. Suddenly everybody was standing around me like I was some sacrificial lamb (in a way yes I was). They asked me what is the meaning of this and I told them that I could not believe anymore and they all started yelling at me. Suddenly, my Uncle grabbed my collar and told me that I was worthy of being shot in the head. For some reason I was incredibly calm at that time, so I said that “That’s just about the only thing I can expect from someone who could not even pass 7th Grade” (stupid of me I know). It infuriated him even more, he pushed me back and said “*Amir you might as well behead him if he’s going to bring such shame to the family”. I didn’t say anything and kept quite, after a while they all left. My parents didn’t talk to me for a whole week, but things are starting to get normal again especially after my mother asked the reason of me taking such step and after I asked her a couple of questions to which she didn’t replied (obviously she had no answer) and haven’t brought up this subject since.
Although my relationship with my family is fucked, I feel more relaxed now. I still can’t say that there is no God as there are many unexplained things in this universe, so in a sense I’m an agnostic. But I can say one thing for a sure that God of Abraham is the worst fictional deity ever.
I will not allow that invisible perverted geezer that hides in the sky and doesn’t give shit about his humanity, to control my life. I will live my own life and chose my own fate.
I don’t hate Islam or Muslim, and I know most of them are peaceful, but it’s the Radical that kill and the peaceful maturity doesn’t matter. In fact it’s actually frightening when these so called “peaceful” people support the Radicals. It’s time we throw the religion in the garbage where it actually belongs. I do not ever want to see a country that where they have Sharia. We need to stop this cult named Islam from spreading, otherwise it’ll be too late.
So that is my story folks, sorry that it’s too long but I wanted to share my experience with anyone going through the same phase. Thanks for taking the time to read it.
EDIT: I forgot that I can now eat bacons. Yay!!
P.S: Ignore any grammatical errors. My English is not perfect, but I am always improving myself.
Escaping Christian Abuse and Torment…
I was born into a Christian home or in my opinion I was born to parents who profess to be Christians. My personal opinion is they are Christians in name only but NOT in deed. Most of my Christian brainwashing came mother. Because during my formative years that’s who I spent most of my time with. I mentioned not because I’m trying to slander them but it’s another reason why I don’t believe in religion. They don’t even follow their own religion yet condemn me to hell for not following it. That’s extreme hypocrisy.
It’s kind of like when cops break the law while either on or off duty and then turn right around and give people tickets or arrest them for the very same behavior.
We started off in the Calvary Chapel and we were very active in Sunday school. I can remember as a little boy going to Sunday school until the time I was ready for adult church which I guess was around 10 years old. I really did not like going to church for the most part but it Was the only life I knew. It seemed a lot like going to school for me. That’s what I think most non-Christians don’t understand is most Christians don’t know any better because that’s the life they have been born into.
I think the first thing that happened which started me on the road of questioning what my parents taught me was the fact that my little friend from church got leukemia and died. I think I was about eight years old when that happened. I really did not understand it that much but one day one of my friends from Sunday school was gone and my parents told me that they went home to be with the Lord or something to that effect. That one incident alone should be enough for people to question their faith. The God of the universe who can do anything he wants, allows little children to suffer and die horrible deaths from cancer. The Bible even claims that God takes credit for all these things.
I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
For from him and through him and for him are all things. To him be the glory forever! Amen.
Then at about 10 years old my parents got a very nasty divorce. It was a horrible and vicious situation for us and the church and other Christians got involved and it was another perfect example of the hypocrisy and failure of Christians. Christians don’t want gays to get married but they don’t even honor marriage themselves and Christians have a higher divorce rate the non-Christians.
So at 10 years old I was already thinking that God was not able to keep my parents together.
The next thing that happened was that our pastor was ousted from our church because he was caught banging his secretary. His two daughters were in my Sunday school and it was a very embarrassing situation for everybody and it was really bad that his wife had to go through this and his daughters as well but obviously the pastor enjoyed having sex with other women besides his wife.
Without going into every minute detail I will say that over the next four or five years we were constantly told we were going to hell if we didn’t obey the Bible etc. etc. I can remember being very young and being in a constant state of fear and feeling a lot of pressure to witness to my friends so I would not go to hell. What kind of sick religion forces 10, 11 or 12-year-olds to feel like they are responsible for somebody else’s salvation? Putting that kind of pressure on even adult is no wrong but it’s another perfect example of the psychological damage Christians due to children.
I remember our youth pastor was yelling at us because they were not “worshiping God” like you thought we were supposed to and lifting their hands during worship service to praise God and he was condemning us repeatedly for that.
I think the most horrible thing that happened to me while I was when I was about 14 or 15. I went on a youth group trip which was put on by the Southern Baptist convention. They had a good youth program and my parents dropped me off their. The deacon of my church somehow convinced the pastor that he needed to sleep with me alone in a separate dorm room at the trip.
Without going into all the painful details, the next morning I was savagely and violently attacked by him. He grabbed me by the neck and throat and smashed my head against a concrete wall. He was afraid because I told him I was going to tell the church leaders what he did. What kind of sick individuals allow a violent degenerate depraved man to go on a youth group trip with kids and then after they found out that he savagely attacked me, they forced me to apologize because I threatened to call the police all of them.
They were afraid that they were going to be opened up to a huge scandal so they pulled the psychological Christian manipulation that they always do and just like always happens, the victims are made to feel like the guilty parties by the adults in authority. They all deserve the death penalty for the crimes which you have committed against me but since Christians have lots of money, influence, power and good lawyers, they never were brought to justice and they never will be. God claims to be just yet allows evil things to happen to children.
Brainwashing is a powerful thing and that’s exactly what happened to me. The whole course of my life, everything I did and said was the result of being brainwashed into believing things that have not come true. If the Bible was true, I would still be going to church, I would still be dedicating my life to “serving God” but unfortunately those things that Christians teach are not true. It would be much easier for me if the things in the Bible were true because I would not have to restart my whole life over.
I really do wish the Bible was true and they really do wish there was a God because if there was a God of justice he would exact extreme vengeance on those Christians who committed egregious crimes against me including acts of violence and stealing $30,000.
If the guys who supposedly knew the Lord Jesus Were wrong, why should I believe some jerk on TV who says the world ending and is asking me for money? Does he know more Then the disciples of the Lord Jesus?
Threatening a child with burning fire and torture if they don’t believe in religion is psychologically abusive and extremely twisted.
In essence, “hypocrisy” refers to the act of claiming to believe something but acting in a different manner. The word is derived from the Greek term for “actor”—literally, “one who wears a mask”—in other words, someone who pretends to be what he is not. Even nonbelievers and non-Christians inherently know for the most part have a Christian is supposed to act and live their life.
The word Christian literally means little Christ and people have a pretty good idea of the way Christ lived his life or at least we have an idea of how the Bible claims he lived his life. Christ condemned hypocrisy and therefore Christ condemns hypocrites. You cannot be a Christian and a hypocrite, if you are a hypocrite you are not a Christian. End of story.
A Sunday Christian is somebody who calls himself a Christian but does not live the life. They do not obey the Bible, they do not “take up their cross” according to the biblical command found in, Luke 9:23 which says “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me.”
This is one of the reasons Christianity simply does not work is because human nature simply will not allow you to do that on the kind of level that Scripture demands. It’s simply impractical because it’s asking the impossible. I know, I tried it. I’m not saying I was perfect at it but I can say for sure that I tried my hardest and doing that all the time on a daily basis your whole life is impossible. I drove myself insane trying to obey these commands because it simply humanly impossible.
I think this is getting a little long winded so I’m going to try and summarize. I have 30 years of crimes in other injustices committed against me by Christians so I’m trying to disseminate as much information as I can so hopefully people can avoid these evil institutions.
In summary, the reason why I stopped wasting my time with religion is due to the following:
Sick, sadistic criminal acts committed against me when I was a boy
Prayer does not work. I spent years and years and years praying and never received one response from God. I would say at one point I spent an average of 10 hours a week praying, including praying in the Holy Ghost or speaking in tongues as some call it. Again, not one prayer answered within either yes or no.
Christian hypocrisy. My parents my Christian friends, my Christian family are all hypocrites and are just basically Sunday Christians. They condemn everybody else but don’t even practice what they preach. I know some good Christians. I know some genuine true honest Christians and most of them are associated with Ray Comfort and the Way of the Master ministries. Unfortunately, 99% of the Christians I have had association with are frauds and scoundrels.
I became disabled and was defrauded out of $30,000 by Christians who promised that guy would heal me and do all kinds of wonderful things for me if I gave the money. Not only did I not get anything in return, but I have come to financial ruin because of the crimes of Christians.
God, if he does exist promotes genocide, torture and allows injustice in the world. Take a look around, does justice rain? No. Why are kids getting cancer? Why are people allowed to be raped and tortured? God can do something about this but he chooses not to and he cannot be just if he does because the Bible condemns over and over and again people who do not save the oppressed from injustice. So I guess the Bible condemns God.
Would a perfect God not be able to write his own Bible? He didn’t. No one has ever seen an original Bible because it does not exist. The perfect God would not let imperfect men write his so-called word to mankind especially if it was something so important such as saving us from hell.
It is undeniable and indisputable that the Bible has thousands and thousands of scribal errors, deliberate changes and many missing books.
If God was perfect and he did exist he would write his own Bible without all the fundamental errors contained in the English Bible and other Bibles. If you could deliver his law to Moses supposedly then he should have no problem writing the Bible himself and then delivering it to mankind.
God does not need imperfect man to deliver his message or to market his system for him. If God is all mighty and all-powerful that he can deliver his life-changing message to us himself without any third parties.
Since its well-established that most Christians are hypocrites, why would a perfect Almighty all-powerful God use scoundrels to deliver his message?
Threatening a child with burning fire and torture if they don’t believe in religion is psychologically abusive and extremely twisted.If you have something to tell somebody or you are the ambassador for a nation would you send a hypocrite, a thief or a liar to relay your message? Of course you wouldn’t because the message would not be received because people do not receive messages or trust liars and hypocrites and because Christians are human beings like the rest of us, they lie, cheat and steal and therefore have no credibility. Even if there was a Christian out there who had a serious amount of integrity, the only one I personally know of is Ray comfort, you still have to get over the fact that Christians cannot even agree on what the word of God really is and that is a serious problem.
If you asked 1000 Christians right now some basic theological points you would get 1000 different answers because human beings are imperfect and flawed and therefore disqualified for bringing a supposedly perfect message.
Christians believe the Bible is 100% accurate and inherent but Christians can even distinguish the difference between belief and fact. If the Bible is in fact 100% accurate and inherent I challenge any Christian to produce a copy of the original Bible in the original language translated 100% perfectly
They can do it because it does not exist. Nobody has seen or will ever see the original Bible because it was written over hundreds if not thousands of years by possibly hundreds of authors who all had different theological beliefs and road from their own social, political, economic and religious context.
All the promises ever made me by Christians have never come true, not one promise in the Bible has ever come true to me.
When I was 14, I accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior in a stadium in front of thousands of people confessing my belief in him. I truly believed it and it was truly my decision but the unfortunate fact is that the Bible makes thousands of promises but does not deliver. God says that he does not lie in that he fulfills every promise yet the fact is he is not even fulfill one promise to me so therefore only a few options can exist in this scenario:
God does not exist
The Bible is contains many falsehoods
God is evil.
Where I am in my life right now with all of this is that I feel I was involved in something very dirty and shameful. The life I experienced while associating with Christians has made me feel disgusted and angry. When I hear other people talk about all of the evil sick twisted things that happen to them when they were children, this is exactly how I feel when I think about my experiences with Christians. 99% of them are disgusting immoral, fraudulent, degenerate scoundrels. They are hypocrites, liars, pedophiles, child abusers etc. etc. I feel bad for the good ones because they are so awesome but unfortunately it’s the majority that ruins it for the minority of good Christians. I really doubt that a God would allow people to shame his name and that’s exactly what Christians are doing, they make him look like he’s garbage like they are.