I don’t expect the far right christian group Focus on the Family to agree with me on everything… or even anything. But they do have to answer one question: If you’re doing God’s work, and God is perfect, how come you’re always wrong? Is the problem you can’t follow instructions, or is Jesus just dicking you around?
I bring this up because in 2008 Focus on the Family tried to frighten their vast mailing list of snake-handlers and early onset dementia patients by sending out a letter with a set of predictions about what our great nation would look like if we elected that evil Count Chockula as our President. And of the 34 predictions they made, they got right exactly NONE… 0 for 34.
So I’m just saying they claim to work for God but for some reason they’re always wrong, and it’s always a disaster. It’s like if every time you tried to put together some bunk beds from Ikea, you died and woke up in hell blowing a guy named Sven.
So if I may let me relay some predictions Focus on the Family made about what would happen if Obama became President: The Pledge of Allegiance, gone. The Boy Scouts of America, gone. Private guns, seized. Abortion, free on demand. And, worse of all… pornagraphy is available at gas stations. Tittie magazines available at the Arco…
They almost gone one right when they predicted the repeal of “don’t ask, don’t tell” but then they went on to say it would lead to turning the Navy into a fire island booze cruise sponsored by Lube. Oh, and I almost forgot America would have single-payer health care… that’s the funniest one of all.
I know who Focus on the Family is: they are an anti-gay lobbying group disguised as a church. Basically the “God hates fags” guys crossed with Bain Capital. So, I’m not surprised they’d be trying to scare rubes into giving them money… that’s what grifters do. But, 0 for 34? Star Trek didn’t get much right about the future, but a few things: lid phones… bluetooth… women with green skin being hot. C’mon!
Now that Obama’s first term is almost over and America has not turned into one big gay circle-jerk, you would think they would apologize: sorry, Obama, we confused you with RuPaul. But no, there are no apologies from today’s far right. Like last year, Trump claimed that his private eyes in Hawaii were finding amazing about Obama’s birth certificate even though the only amazing thing they found was how easy it is to con Donald Trump to pay for your vacation. But he was never forced to take a public walk of shame. He just got to pass the baton to the next liar, Mitt Romney.
Mitt Romney said in 2007 it was not worth going into Pakistan to get Bin Laden, and in 2008 he predicted that if Detroit got they’re bail out, “you could kiss the American auto industry goodbye.”
Is there no penalty anymore for just being WRONG? WRONG! Forget ideology! You thought something in the future would go a certain way, great stakes were riding on whether you got it right, and you didn’t. All the Republicans in 1983 said that Clinton raising the taxes would destroy the economy and it did the opposite. In 2003 George Bush was certain Iraq had weapons of mass destruction. In 1964 Ronald Reagan said that Medicare would destroy our freedom.
As Joe Biden said, “Folks, use your common sense.”